I'll keep you in my sweet little secret :)

I know its been like ages I did not updated my blog but to be honest with you guys I don’t feel like blogging now. It has no sense of attraction for me anymore but yet I still want to carry on with my blog posting. It just, I won’t updated it days by days maybe once a week or perhaps once in a month. And yes, many people came to ask me whether it is because of him, I lost my desire towards blogging? Oh damn NO! What on earth should I did that just because of that particular guy? It doesn’t make sense at all -.- I am tired of posting sucks love notes and yet I am too jaded now! Why cruel fate has set upon me and now I am hoping for the best to come and approach. I am thingking deeply. I dive into deep blue sea and think wide, as wide as possible. Thinking whether all things happened for a reason. A useful and obvious reason but yet I couldn’t find one.

  Throughout these days, I had always dreaming of a guy who could actually be there for me and yet love me for who I am and I don’t know whether in this world there’ll be a guy who doesn’t care to abolish their past and yet try to love me more than the world could ever do. I'd rather live in only my dreams other than to face the same thing that keep repeating. I was hoping for a miracle every night, probably there's a hero could save me and took me away from this black hell hole of loneliness, but then again nobody had come. I have come to rescue myself, I'd protect myself from harm. I am now feeling the chills from this love game, how I shivered. Yes ! I am surrounded by people who love me and care for me but still the emptiness I feel deep inside my blood need to be washed away and I don’t even know if he would be able to do that and yet making me smile like he always do.

  I always wonder if I did confess to him, is there any possibility that I am repeating my old sucks love story? Er, humans have their own perspective in anything. I do too, and so I have to believe in myself and yeah I should not afraid of something that may appear afterwards but only I have to be prepared physically and mentally. Just so you know it had appear, I am chuffed but I am feeling melancholy at the same time. Even so it was a positive feedback from you and you stopped. It was a temporary jolly feelings for me, I don't care, I still want you, I want you to be mine.

I am a person who gain too many heart ache and couldn't feel the warmth of love no more. But still deep inside of this bleeding heart I wish you could have come and give me the warmth of love which I had made it invisible for others.